I will be brutally honest and say that I am really tired of all the swearing and name calling. When did this childish and negative behavior become socially acceptable? I've noticed this has become more the norm for television, politics and everyday conversation. Why are we allowing it? More importantly, why are we participating in it?
We have heard the sayings "words have power", "what we think we become". And I would like to add that words have energy. Energy that adds to how we feel emotionally and energy that affects how others feel. Name calling and swearing in general conversation is disrespectful to ourselves and also to those who hear it. When I was growing up my mom was a real stickler for using the English language properly. She was focused on correcting our improper use of language such as saying the word "ain't" or " I got" and phrases such as "me and Dave went to the store". We would hear "ain't isn't a word", "I have - not I got", and " It's Dave and I". And we NEVER swore. I think I heard my mother swear one time and I was an adult when she did. It was also pretty tame as she was too respectful of herself to use any language that wasn't 'lady-like'. And my father rarely swore other than the very occasional "damn it!" Which was NEVER preceded with God. I was told that people who swore regularly lacked self respect and that using foul language reflected badly on them causing people to think less of them. I have found over the years that there is quite a bit of truth to this. I was raised in a low income family with high school educated parents who worked hard and had a tremendous amount of self respect. There was right and wrong, and though we were taught tolerance for how others spoke, we were taught to respond to people who swore by not participating in swearing ourselves. I also found that when I heard people swear who normally didn't, they were justifiably angry and frustrated to the point of swearing thus getting their point across. Conversely those who swore all the time didn't really get heard because people often couldn't tell if they were upset or just talking. I am not perfect by any measure and I get angry just like anyone else. But I've notice that when I give in to anger and use foul language I am not solving anything. In fact I feel the adrenaline surge with each unfiltered word and my anger rises as I feed it with the negative energy of anger and frustration. BUT - when I pause, and take a breath and step back for a moment and CHOOSE to respond in a positive way (which is often no response at all) I feel more calm, positive and loving. The argument here is that "it just feels good to swear sometimes." And I agree that when I hit my thumb with a hammer a bit of swearing actually feels great! But if I direct name calling and anger toward someone or situation it seems to only add to the frustration and negative feelings and the anger grows. The situation gets worse not better. I suggest that this week we practice speaking kindly, even in the face of name calling and swearing. Let's choose to be mindful of our speech and not swear this week! We might turn the television off, walk away from a situation or intentionally respond with loving-kindness. If you do find yourself falling into the negative talk, simply acknowledge it, forgive yourself and start again. *Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Movement Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her meditation center "A Positive Light". For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com or her blog site at Joanielane.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by others that have been included have been identified.
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