I've noticed that people seem to feel that we have a right to freedom. Especially Americans who confuse the saying 'Land of the Free' to mean that we have the freedom to say or do whatever we want. And without consequences.
I think it would be healthy to question ourselves; What kind of freedom do we want? Do we want the freedom to say and do whatever we want?Or; Do we want freedom from ignorance, anger and attachment? There's been quite a bit written on anger. We seem to struggle with how to act and what to do with this emotion when it comes up. It is something we may want to become aware of in ourselves and work with it, especially in today's volatile society. Growing up we are not necessarily taught how to process anger in a healthy way. More often than not we are told to dismiss it, don't let it enter your mind, push it away, or worse, act violently to "teach others a lesson." Anger does have its positive side though. Our brain, through thousands of years, has developed an automatic response of fight or flight which can save our life. And anger can also identify injustice and unfairness. If we practice Mindfulness we can choose a constructive and positive response to anger. Many religions teach that anger is a sin and that we should replace our anger with loving-kindness. And though I agree that loving-kindness is the better response, this is very difficult to do. When we are caught up in the physical net of emotions brought on by anger our bodies respond by pumping adrenaline and our limbic system takes over and this flight or fight response is not easily controlled. Jesus told us to "Love Your Enemies" in the gospel of Luke. 27 "But I say unto you which hear, 'Love your enemies', do good to them which hate you." 28 "Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you." The Prophet Mohammad and Islam the Religion of Peace The Messenger of Allah said: “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent." Instructing that when a person becomes angry, there is a tendency for them to lose control and say things they will regret. In Buddhism; Anger is one of the three poisons - the other two are greed and ignorance – that are the primary causes of the cycle of samsara (suffering) and rebirth. Purifying ourselves of anger is essential to Buddhist practice. But what does this mean? To purify. Well, rather than ignore anger or push it away we should notice it. Observe it. Be aware of when it arises and investigate where the anger comes from. Most teachers will say it is fear and I agree. Fear of losing control (which we never had in the first place), fear of physical harm, fear for the safety of others or fear of losing our freedom... Here is a Mindfulness exercise that may help: Rather than trying to control anger, notice when the feeling of anger arises. There is usually a split second when we can notice what's happening and decide to NOT react. Take a breath and notice how your body is feeling. Where are you physically feeling anger? Is your stomach, throat or chest tight? Are you biting it back? Stuffing it down? Where did this feeling originate from in your past? When we begin to investigate and analyze the feelings both physically and emotionally we can understand our anger and choose our behavior toward it. We can take a breath and calm ourselves by exercising patience, loving-kindness or forgiveness. This too is easier said than done but with the practice of Mindfulness we can stop, pause, investigate and choose a positive or at least an appropriate peaceful response to the particular situation. Cultivating positive emotions, such as patience, compassion and lovingkindness in response to anger can transform our anger to inert peace. When we no longer allow anger to lead us we choose being peace itself and thereby enter a space of 'true freedom' that no one can take from us unless we give in to our anger. *Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Movement Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her meditation center "A Positive Light". For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by others that have been included have been identified.
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Have you ever known anyone who, no matter what bad or disappointing thing happened, they always seemed to smile and look on the bright side? Doesn't it just make you furious when they just won't shut up about how damned wonderful everything always is?
Well, that's me. Always saying things like "Well, at least this other thing didn't happen" or "It could always be worse". I'm just one of those pesky positive people and I truly piss some people off sometimes! I mean honestly, some people love to hang on to their anger and their complaining. And I'm just throwing a rainbow colored wrench into their tantrum! To tell you the truth, I'm not really that positive. I've just learned to choose to replace complaining with a positive response to diffuse the disappointment, and sometimes anger, that comes up when things don't go as planned. The Buddha taught: Attachment causes suffering. But what does this mean? Usually it means that we are attached to an outcome. We have already made up our minds that some event or action should have a specific result. It could mean that you left your favorite jacket at the restaurant and when you went back it was gone. (My response: well someone must have needed it more than I did) Or the person you have been dating and thought had a good thing going with calls and says it's just not working out. (Who wants to be with someone who doesn't appreciate my obvious good qualities anyway?) Or you put a down payment on a house and the previous offer is accepted, not yours. (There must be a better house out there waiting for me) Those cheery little rebuttals are nauseating right? I mean let's face it, sometimes it just feels good to get mad! Who needs a goody goody putting a positive slant on a lousy day? Kind of takes the fun out of screaming and throwing a fit. Well, I think most of us will agree that as good as screaming, yelling or even hitting may feel in the moment we usually feel like complete jerks when we calm down and look at the behavior we just displayed. Then we are no longer angry at the situation we become angry with ourselves for acting that way. <------ That is if we are truly adults who want to better ourselves. Let's say you are preparing for a surprise birthday party for a special friend named Hank who loves ponds and ducks. He just can't get enough of them! You invite certain special friends of Hank's and noted duck people to attend and have asked some of them to bring snacks and main dishes to share (all pond and duck themed of course), you want a special cake that will look like a pond with ducks, your invitations will have a big duck on them and the decorations will be hanging blue streamers with silver hanging ducks (that you will make because you saw this thing on how to make them on Pinterest),....You plan and plan and when the invitations come,...... there is a deer (buck) on them, and the streamers that you bought at the store for the decorations that looked blue turns out to be a weird shade of purple and the ducks you cut out and put tin foil on look more like cows than ducks..... You're disappointed but you put on your happy face and persevere and finally, in spite of it all not being quite the way you planned, the big day comes and.... That cake you ordered is delivered the day of the party and it says "Happy Retirement" on it and looks an awful lot like a golf course with a pond on it and half the people you were counting on attending (those bring the main dishes) can't make it and the ones who do come look awfully hungry and they're empty handed and now they're asking who retired and "I thought this was a birthday party" and "oh by the way, when I spoke to Hank last week he didn't know anything about the party." So obviously the surprise is ruined...... And now you just want to go lock yourself in your bedroom and hide under your covers because NOTHING has turned out the way you planned!! Argh!!! You may have been so attached to the outcome of the imagined 'perfect party' that the thought of anything (or in this case everything) going wrong was just not even an option. So what do you do? Well, you could go hide under your covers, you could stomp your feet and grumble to everyone about the moron who got the cake wrong and thoroughly NOT enjoy the party or,... You enjoy yourself! You enjoy the taste of the cake while laughing about the buck on the invitations. You order pizza and enjoy the company of the people who DID show up. You do your best to see the bright side and give good old Hank a great party! You simply go with the flow! And you do this because you have learned through Mindfulness to Observe your thoughts-Examine you're feelings and where they stem from-and Embrace the now. You make the best of the situation because really, let's face it, a lot worse things can happen in this world, and YOU have a Party to enjoy! Lucky you!! This week I suggest using your awareness to: Observe your thoughts-Examine your emotions-Embrace the Truth and the Now that make up your days. And make the best of it all. Choose to be one of those pesky positive people! **Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her retreat center. For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com The comments I hear most often in my meditation classes are "I can't get my mind to be quiet" and "How can I sit and meditate if I can't stop thinking?"
I try to keep my responses simple, but really, there are so many layers to understanding and practicing meditation. And the answer that might make sense to you may not make sense to another. It all depends on how we process thought. And oh, by the way, you will never 'not think'. Unless you die. And even then the jury is still out. Often we try to push the thoughts away. "Ugh! I can't get my brain to stop thinking!" How about this: how about you take a vacation from the web of thoughts? Just for 10 minutes take a break from your thoughts and only concentrate on your body and how it feels and how your breath is leaving and returning. I mean, it's not like your thoughts are going anywhere. All of life's issues and problems will be there for you to pick back up when you're done. If you want them. Or maybe not. It could be that by practicing meditation you will be more relaxed and able to approach your thoughts in a more 'awake' state. This is what 'mindfulness' is. Being awake to not only your thoughts but also your movements, your driving, working, parenting,.... get my drift? By learning how to sit and observe the thought and not get involved in it you are learning to be mindful and you can take that with you throughout your day. For example: Have you ever gone out to the ocean with the intention of just getting away to "think"? But when you arrive and sit you find yourself listening to and watching the waves, feeling the breeze on your face and smelling the salty air, just to find out that you forgot to "think". You may have found, unknowing, that the freedom of experiencing the ocean and all that goes with it is very enjoyable. And relaxing. You got caught up in the experience of the moment rather than the thoughts you had planned on thinking about. That feeling of 'ahhh,...... I just want to sit here and relax and not move for a while' is similar to what happens in meditation when you learn to not get caught up in your thoughts. Ummm, Ocean Meditation! It's not that you're pushing the thoughts away, it's that you are sitting separately with them. Maybe you've had a dog that you would go to the park with or again, the ocean, and you've sat down next to each other and neither of you moved. I know your dog just loves to be near you so his happiness is complete and in the moment. And often when we're relaxed and sitting quietly with our pooch we are at ease and serene. <------That is meditation! Yep. That's it in a nut shell. Learning to sit with our thoughts next to us without our becoming "involved" with them. It's when we follow the thread of thought and get caught up and spun out in it that our peace of mind goes flying out the window. So the question becomes how can I make friends with my thoughts and sit next to them and not get caught in their web? Practice. That's why we call it our meditation practice. Like anything else, it gets easier with practice. "Don’t fight with monsters, for you can become one. If you look into the abyss for long enough, the abyss looks into you.” ~ Friedrich Neitzsche *Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her meditation center "A Positive Light". For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by others that have been included have been identified. When we speak of Truth in Buddhism we are speaking of practicing the acceptance of what IS. We are identifying this world, this life, this space, this time and walking in complete acceptance of it all. We learn to accept the joys in life. We learn to accept that our hopes don't always work out and we learn to accept disappointment. We learn to not be attached to the outcome we desire, to accept life on life's terms and insist on being happy with the end results.
Truth is the stark and naked message of what simply IS. No matter what we try to do or say to change or manipulate it into something pliable that fits our safe framework of everyday comfortable living. The Truth is still simply the Truth. And fighting it only causes samsara. The cycle of unhappiness. But do not confuse Truth with Honesty. When dealing with honesty, as with dealing cards, we cannot know with certainty the end result. Being honest, completely honesty, is gambling on the gift or the monster that waits just on the other side of the threshold. We need only to step through and stand in the humility and light of honesty. But in doing so the vulnerability and powerlessness of this step can be the abyss that, once spoken out loud, holds the possibility of loss and damage that we may never return from. The groundlessness of honesty holds no promises of gain or loss. We are gambling on the fortune of freedom or the possible burden and responsibility of guilt for damages done as we seek to find our own solid ground. Just as we may experience joy or relief that our message was received as we hoped it would be, in delivering a message that may cause disappointment we will have to look on the face of that disappointment with guilty eyes that compassion will not let rest. As truth may set us free complete honesty can wound and, at times, cause such great damage in ones life so as to cripple another bringing them such deep grief and despair that often the damage is too great to bear. Therefore when dealing with the truth on the strictest level we need to temper our honesty with compassion. If we need to deliver harsh messages, whether to ourselves or others, we should do so with a tender heart that carries with it the message of love and compassion. The responsibility is ours to be kind in our honesty. "I will abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind imbued with lovingkindness; abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill-will." ~Pasanno Bhikkhu *Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her meditation center "A Positive Light". For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by other teachers that have been included have been identified. When we speak of Truth in Buddhism we are speaking of practicing the acceptance of what IS. We are identifying this world, this life, this space, this time and walking in complete acceptance of it all. We learn to accept the joys in life. We learn to accept that our hopes don't always work out and we learn to accept disappointment. We learn to not be attached to the outcome we desire, to accept life on life's terms and insist on being happy with the end results.
Truth is the stark and naked message of what simply IS. No matter what we try to do or say to change or manipulate it into something pliable that fits our safe framework of everyday comfortable living. The Truth is still simply the Truth. And fighting it only causes samsara. The cycle of unhappiness. But do not confuse Truth with Honesty. When dealing with honesty, as with dealing cards, we cannot know with certainty the end result. Being honest, completely honesty, is gambling on the gift or the monster that waits just on the other side of the threshold. We need only to step through and stand in the humility and light of honesty. But in doing so the vulnerability and powerlessness of this step can be the abyss that, once spoken out loud, holds the possibility of loss and damage that we may never return from. The groundlessness of honesty holds no promises of gain or loss. We are gambling on the fortune of freedom or the possible burden and responsibility of guilt for damages done as we seek to find our own solid ground. Just as we may experience joy or relief that our message was received as we hoped it would be, in delivering a message that may cause disappointment we will have to look on the face of that disappointment with guilty eyes that compassion will not let rest. As truth may set us free complete honesty can wound and, at times, cause such great damage in ones life so as to cripple another bringing them such deep grief and despair that often the damage is too great to bear. Therefore when dealing with the truth on the strictest level we need to temper our honesty with compassion. If we need to deliver harsh messages, whether to ourselves or others, we should do so with a tender heart that carries with it the message of love and compassion. The responsibility is ours to be kind in our honesty. "I will abide pervading the all-encompassing world with a mind imbued with lovingkindness; abundant, exalted, immeasurable, without hostility, and without ill-will." ~Pasanno Bhikkhu *Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her meditation center "A Positive Light". For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by other teachers that have been included have been identified. |