We have all felt happiness and sadness, pain and joy, fear and security....and we would not have one without the other. They balance each other. Often we find that there are levels of intensity with each of these emotions. Some are extreme and some are very slight. We even feel equanimity; a state of mental or emotional stability, balance, or composure. It can be described as a state of indifference or equilibrium.
What emotions really boil down to is being in an emotional state of love or fear. When something wonderful happens we feel joy; an expression of love. We may laugh out loud, smile or giggle depending on how deeply we feel the emotion. When we feel fear we may lash out verbally or physically. It may be fear of someone taking something from us (our joy perhaps) or a threat to our safety. Whatever occurrence has triggered the emotion of fear, it too has levels of intensity and we react in measure to the occurrence. These extremes show us that our emotions are out of balance. Before I had my practice of meditation I noticed something interesting in my reactions when in a state of fear as compared to the state of joy; when I was ENJOYING something I didn't really think about it so much as I just laughed or smiled and experienced a feeling of lightness in my spirit. But when I experienced fear - especially extreme fear- my mind began to race, not only from the adrenaline that was triggered, but I also saw my entire laundry list of negative experiences, my entire history of negative events, race through my thoughts creating more fear and a domino effect of emotion began to tumble into waves of fear that grew larger and larger. This extreme experience rarely seemed to happen when I experienced joy. For me there were only a small number of times in my life when the feeling of joy was so big that I felt I would burst from happiness. And I don't seem to be the only one who has had this noticeable difference in these two emotions. The search for happiness has become an epidemic of sorts in this country. Neuroscientist have shown that some of this fear we experience is hard-wired in our brain from family history (literally passed on from one generation to the next), some fear is created in the family we grew up in and creates a base from which reactionary responses to society is a survival skill we develop as we go through our lives. And some extreme fear reactions are a form of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). Something I see from many of my meditation students and life coaching clients is a desire to find a place where we can live in a perpetual state of happiness. And while we can train our mind, through meditation and other mindful practices, to choose a response of love or equanimity over fear - it is impossible to never experience fear. One thing we can do is choose to respond to fear with a loving and compassionate heart. In consciously responding to fear with a compassionate heart we are dousing the flames of fear with love, creating balance in our emotions. And in doing so we will find that we experience joy more often, and in turn experience fear less often. Happiness will never be a constant. It comes in bits and pieces that we can learn to savor. And in savoring these moments we are on the path to growing a larger garden of love in our hearts, creating a happier more balanced life. "Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony." ~Thomas Merton *Joanie Lane is the director of "A Positive Light" meditation & spiritual center. For more information on Joanie and the center visit www.apositivelight.com or her blog Joanielane.com **These are original writings by Joanie. Any quotes by others have been identified.
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