Have you ever known anyone who, no matter what bad or disappointing thing happened, they always seemed to smile and look on the bright side? Doesn't it just make you furious when they just won't shut up about how damned wonderful everything always is?
Well, that's me. Always saying things like "Well, at least this other thing didn't happen" or "It could always be worse". I'm just one of those pesky positive people and I truly piss some people off sometimes! I mean honestly, some people love to hang on to their anger and their complaining. And I'm just throwing a rainbow colored wrench into their tantrum! To tell you the truth, I'm not really that positive. I've just learned to choose to replace complaining with a positive response to diffuse the disappointment, and sometimes anger, that comes up when things don't go as planned. The Buddha taught: Attachment causes suffering. But what does this mean? Usually it means that we are attached to an outcome. We have already made up our minds that some event or action should have a specific result. It could mean that you left your favorite jacket at the restaurant and when you went back it was gone. (My response: well someone must have needed it more than I did) Or the person you have been dating and thought had a good thing going with calls and says it's just not working out. (Who wants to be with someone who doesn't appreciate my obvious good qualities anyway?) Or you put a down payment on a house and the previous offer is accepted, not yours. (There must be a better house out there waiting for me) Those cheery little rebuttals are nauseating right? I mean let's face it, sometimes it just feels good to get mad! Who needs a goody goody putting a positive slant on a lousy day? Kind of takes the fun out of screaming and throwing a fit. Well, I think most of us will agree that as good as screaming, yelling or even hitting may feel in the moment we usually feel like complete jerks when we calm down and look at the behavior we just displayed. Then we are no longer angry at the situation we become angry with ourselves for acting that way. <------ That is if we are truly adults who want to better ourselves. Let's say you are preparing for a surprise birthday party for a special friend named Hank who loves ponds and ducks. He just can't get enough of them! You invite certain special friends of Hank's and noted duck people to attend and have asked some of them to bring snacks and main dishes to share (all pond and duck themed of course), you want a special cake that will look like a pond with ducks, your invitations will have a big duck on them and the decorations will be hanging blue streamers with silver hanging ducks (that you will make because you saw this thing on how to make them on Pinterest),....You plan and plan and when the invitations come,...... there is a deer (buck) on them, and the streamers that you bought at the store for the decorations that looked blue turns out to be a weird shade of purple and the ducks you cut out and put tin foil on look more like cows than ducks..... You're disappointed but you put on your happy face and persevere and finally, in spite of it all not being quite the way you planned, the big day comes and.... That cake you ordered is delivered the day of the party and it says "Happy Retirement" on it and looks an awful lot like a golf course with a pond on it and half the people you were counting on attending (those bring the main dishes) can't make it and the ones who do come look awfully hungry and they're empty handed and now they're asking who retired and "I thought this was a birthday party" and "oh by the way, when I spoke to Hank last week he didn't know anything about the party." So obviously the surprise is ruined...... And now you just want to go lock yourself in your bedroom and hide under your covers because NOTHING has turned out the way you planned!! Argh!!! You may have been so attached to the outcome of the imagined 'perfect party' that the thought of anything (or in this case everything) going wrong was just not even an option. So what do you do? Well, you could go hide under your covers, you could stomp your feet and grumble to everyone about the moron who got the cake wrong and thoroughly NOT enjoy the party or,... You enjoy yourself! You enjoy the taste of the cake while laughing about the buck on the invitations. You order pizza and enjoy the company of the people who DID show up. You do your best to see the bright side and give good old Hank a great party! You simply go with the flow! And you do this because you have learned through Mindfulness to Observe your thoughts-Examine you're feelings and where they stem from-and Embrace the now. You make the best of the situation because really, let's face it, a lot worse things can happen in this world, and YOU have a Party to enjoy! Lucky you!! This week I suggest using your awareness to: Observe your thoughts-Examine your emotions-Embrace the Truth and the Now that make up your days. And make the best of it all. Choose to be one of those pesky positive people! **Joanie Lane is a Meditation Teacher, Reiki Master/Teacher, Spiritual & Life Coach, and Healing Qigong Leader. She lives in Kelseyville, Ca. at her retreat center. For more information visit her website at apositivelight.com
1 Comment
Patrick Gleeson
10/30/2016 03:20:54 pm
Very inspirational I always enjoy practicing what I learn from your writings.
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